I discovered the saddest thing tonight.
I was tucking in my Christopher (my youngest) and I turned on the humidifier that I keep in his room because he gets so many bloody noses, especially at night. Anyway, when I turned it on it started making all this noise, so I quickly turned it off only to discover that there were three Lego's inside where the fan was.
I quickly scolded him and gave him a lecture, you know the typical "why did you do that?" "This is not OK" etc. etc.
So I spend the next few minutes trying to get the Lego's out and filling it with water etc. (I couldn't get the Lego's out). Then I started straightening his blankets around him and he said to me "I'm sorry mom for doing that". I told him "It's OK honey, I love you."
What he said next broke my heart. He said "You do? I thought you wouldn't love me anymore." I told him of course I did and that no matter what he ever did or said I would love him forever. He really seemed surprised by that.
What kind of a message am I sending him? What am I saying or not saying to give him that impression?
It's no wonder he always wants to be with me. He would rather be playing a game or sitting on my lap more than anything else. It's obvious he just wants to feel loved. I feel horrible that I've given him the impression that my love is conditional. He is such a sweet heart. So snugly and loving. He just wants the same from me. He's always been my 'little man'.
Here he is sleeping. He always sleeps in the funniest positions.
4 comments:
That would break my heart too. What an eye opener! Now I am thinking of what kind of impression I give my kids.
Oh, Melissa, here I am having a NON tear filled day for once, and you have to go and ruin it! lol What a precious moment. :)
I think some kids are just more tender hearted and that they really take everything so personally. They just want love and acceptance. You are doing great because he felt comfortable enough to express his feelings to you. That means he trusts you. You should be proud of that.
We are never good enough for our children - what they deserve. And yet, we, as we are in every moment, are exactly what they need to be who they are - which is perfect and wonderful and whole. :)
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